I Can't Take You Anywhere

Five tips to survive outings with a gaggle of children

First outing with all four kids circa July 2021 or “Meltdown in the baking aisle.”

I remember long before I met my husband, I went on an adventure with a close friend and her two toddlers. She must have asked them, 'Do you need a snack?' Fifteen times before we got to our location. And another fifteen during the time we were at the park. She constantly pulled out small Ziploc bags of goldfish, string cheese, etc. I even teased her about it. 'Hey, do you happen to have a snack?' Now I laugh because she was right. It's vital to have snacks when you go anywhere, ESPECIALLY if you have a child (or children).

When we had our first baby, taking him anywhere was stressful for me. I had my purse, plus an entire bag with a myriad of things he might need and a few things he definitely would need. Bottles, extra clothes, snacks, wipes, diapers, you name it, I had it. Then the second baby came, and I felt like it took a Herculean effort to take them anywhere. Once, I ventured to the library for toddler storytime. I had two under two, and I was exhausted. I was sweaty and worried that one (or both) would have a meltdown. We sang, and I chased one toddler around while gently rocking the baby and feeling completely overwhelmed. It wasn't until the END OF THE CLASS that another mom gently said to me, 'I think you have baby throw-up on your back.'

I had indeed fed and burped my baby right before story time began and proceeded to sing every nursery rhythm KNOWN TO MAN with vomit running down my back.

Long story short: taking kids anywhere to do anything can be challenging. So, I’m sharing five things that have helped me feel comfortable taking my four children out.

Give yourself time

I HATE feeling rushed. I can't think straight and get very snippy with my kids. To help with this, I start getting the kids ready an hour before we want to be anywhere. I have two older kids who can dress themselves, but if you have little ones needing more help, give yourself more time. Feeling frazzled at the beginning does not bode well for the outing.

Water and snacks

I always have little baggies of snacks, JUST in case we stay too long at the park or run another errand while we are out. Each kid has a water bottle, and we fill those up before heading out the door. Hangry kids are not fun. Hangry adults aren't either, so I always have extra water and a little something for myself.

Begin with the end in mind

Whether we are going to the park or a play date, I always have an end time in mind. I know how long my kids can endure an outing before they slowly fall apart. Play dates are to socialize and have fun. A library trip is to return books and pick up new ones. The park is a great way to get fresh air and be outside. Once the kids have experienced the purpose of the outing, which usually takes between an hour and ninety minutes, I know it's time to start saying goodbye and gathering our things. If I wait longer, chaos will ensue.

Reminders are helpful

Whenever we arrive at a place, I gently remind the kids what is and what isn't acceptable behavior. It usually goes like this:

Me: 'OK guys, when I say it's time to go...'

Children: 'IT’S TIME TO GO!'

Me: 'What are we NOT going to do?'

Children: 'No whining and no fighting!'

You get the idea. These little reminders help them, and me remember the expectations. I also reiterate safety precautions: no running, staying close, holding hands, etc. These reminders may feel repetitive and silly, but they work for us.

Lower your expectations

I cannot stress enough how important this last one is. Kids are kids. They are going to be loud, make mistakes, and be unaware of their bodies, and it's ok. Inevitably, a kid will have to pee as soon as you get in the car to head home. It's going to happen. It's ok. The more relaxed I became about going out with all the kids, the more I enjoyed it and the more confident I became. But I also only run a few errands with them and don't overcommit. I can't go to every play date or event and keep my peace, so I say no when necessary.

These five things have helped me. I don't have any family nearby, so I knew I would have to go out with the kids by myself. I realized that each new baby brought a significant period of adjustment. My first trip with all four kids felt like a HUGE win. Now, taking all of them out and about feels manageable. But I'm very selective about when and where I take them. If you're a nervous mom like me, taking all my kids to a crowded place can induce a lot of anxiety, so I don't do that. I'm not there quite yet. See? I'm still learning along with you.

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Talk to me

1. Have you felt overwhelmed during outings with your children?

2. What has helped you feel more prepared for these outings?

3. What’s your go-to place when you want to take the kids out of the house?